yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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