from now on my penis is your penis
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
