hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
