Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
