More tranny stories later!
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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