what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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