I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
