Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
