Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
