and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Holy shit dude........stairs
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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