In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
