Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
