I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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