Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Where is the hickey?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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