used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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