I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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