If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize