I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
