It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
