I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize