Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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