awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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