a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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