Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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