Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize