imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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