just come out here and I will go home with you...
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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