We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
How's work?
Spinning.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
