Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Panties = found
Randomize
