I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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