i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
