Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
