Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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