ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize