take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize