Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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