His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
