just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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