is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
