Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
