Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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