Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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