I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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