they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
