Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
