I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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