the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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