Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
