I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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