You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
