the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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