Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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