4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
