So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
