we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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