When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
