we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
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