ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
