Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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