I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
