Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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