MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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