he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
