i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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