Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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