i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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