Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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