Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
