and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i dont even know how to be here
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
