I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
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