Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize