I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
