He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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