He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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