There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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