Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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