my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
