Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
